?

Question?

just wondering if u move & dont bother 2 tell ur own girlfriend??

Arrragghhhh men (or should i say boys!)

Im so fed up with him. He wont be coming till thursday... That 21 days, 3 weeks. He thinks this is ok. Im ment to just roll over and do what he says. And not moan about the fact he would rather be doing a raid on world of war craft than spend 5 minutes with me. I may as well be single seeing as i have`nt seen  my own boyfriend in so long, and by his choice. He makes excuse after excuse. And im not allowed to comment on it. Im so darn fed up of it. Why is it he is allowed to call the shots? And im not even allowed an opinon? And as for spending my life texting him, well sod that. Im not doing it anymore. I wish he could just see what he is doing. I wish he would get a clue. And grow up!

LOVES it when i si right!!

I love to gloat and rub it in when im soooo right. I told u herman it western supermare was in sommerset and he would have it it was in devon... sooo not. Even whenu google map it and shove it in his face he still acts like he was right. and then wont face he is sooooo wrong. And u are loser!!!GUTTED!

Movies

It`s too early to be up on a monday morning!! But then again It`s 5 hours later from actually getting up. Which means it`s kinda late. And also kinda pointless pointing it all out. Did you see the golden globes?? I did not, was too busy being asleep at 1am when its on over here. Hello??? Whats with everyone and voting for JAMES CAMERON AND AVATARD! why them Winning?? WHY?? I`ll tell you why, your all idiots. It`s only half good because of the graphics. The story is the same old re done rubbish from cameron as always. The acting not that great . And way to long as always. And dull if it was`nt for the graphics. I do have to admit i sat and watched the whole film, and did`nt get too bored. Though did leave for a toilet break and was`nt bothered if i missed a bit of the film. And yes the graphics wear cool. But i hope they dont make many films like it, because it hurts my eyes, like 3d does. I wished they would just leave films alone. And start making good films, with good actors instead of wasting money on names. Thats why i like the indie films. You know u will get a good story and good actors.
So what else is going on im my world.... Not much i have to say. I did just send of a check and booked my holiday... an as yet un-known destination. I hope its cornwall though. I may well have to see the film the 4th kind.. looks good. But then again, it`ll suck like paranormal activity, man did that blow chunks. I was told it would scare my socks off. And i would`nt sleep with the light off again. Erm, that did not happen. In fact looking in the mirror is more scarey. Actually its too shocking to even face is that. I likes a good film does i. I wonder if the boyfriend will show up.. I highly doubt that. I wont be happy again. But ho hum. Movie fest for me alone then i guess. Then rub it in that i have seen all the films he wants too lol.

So boring

I have been bored all night. That`s what you get for going out with a gamer. I dont see what the big fuss is with this world of warcraft and xbox rubbish. But even if they were`nt around, his mates would be still. And still i would be last on the list. I`ve not seen him for 3 weekends now. Or 16 DAYS. I dont know why it`s so easy for him to not see me. Maybe he does`nt care at all? I dont know anymore. I know that his actions towards us as a couple make me care about him less and less. My fun for the night is to to pint my nails, pink and purple. I just could not choose. So yeh im left to moan again on a blog about my useless, un thoughtfull, un worthy boyfriend. And yet hear i am still letting him control everything. Im too dumb for my own good. Should i even try any more? I dont think i should be the one who fights to make this work any more. Not when he is the one who constantly makes it bad. And makes me unhappy. And then will try to make me look like the bad one. You can only love someone so much. And he has pushed as far as im willing to go. But just does`nt understand this or, it seems care. I will no doubt end up single in 2010 at this rate. :(  But ho hum, has to be done. Im not going to give in this time. Why should i?? Why do guy think its ok to act like this? He used to want to see me and be around me all the time. What did i do? Oh i know, let him know i loved him. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!   

>

4got

I hate "it" because obviously that makes me think of things I am supposed to "FORGET" including some vague expectations I dont remember I even had.

lovely bones

These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence.

i love the lovely bones

Myspace blog rant

Wednesday, January 06, 2010 23:09
13
Current mood: angry
Category: Life

I can hardly claim to care if he see`s this. But i know he wont. This is one thing he does`nt have eyes on. (No friends of his can peek and then tell lies or half a story too). But either way, i`m still going to get it off my chest. Seeing as saying it to him is falling on deaf ears. I just wonder why we are even together anymore. I mean surely if you love someone like you say. You would want to see them whenever you could? You dont have a job, you dont have anything to keep you at home (One i might add im never allowed to go too????, why is beyond me)...????
You have`nt seen your girlfreind in 5 days... And all you have done in these 5 days is play world of war craft and x box.
You dont have to do anything untill tuesday which is another 8 days away... So why do you not want to see your girlfriend, one who you claim to love?
I have been such an idiot, always waiting for the phone, waiting on a text. Which seems to be the only way the relationship (of thats what you want to call it is surviving.. if it even is???). Should i even care any more? I dont think i do so much. Im put last as always. So now im thinking, you`ll get treated how i get treated.
What is the point in this anyway, it`ll be diregraded like everything i have to say (write ion this case, cos words i speak go un-heard).
What is annoying is the fact if i text him more trhan once before he has answered, i get moaned at. But if i ignore his text for hours he sends me many. And im not allowed to point this out.
F**k it.
F**k u
And f**k ur mate harry potter wannabe too!

Hmm, i think i had one too many b*tch pills today??? no?

Yes i know it`s pointless writing somethign someone will never see. But i feel better for it. I know it takes me forever to write something and then it`s a pile of poop!

thats it, rant over.
Bye bye.
Currently listening:
Bad Romance
By Lady Gaga
Release date

:(

I think that some people (namely the boyfriend) thinks its fine to ignore me for 5 hours and then has the cheek to moan @ me for not reply to his stupid text message. I wonder if anyone actually really believes that they can have and maintain a relationship via text messaging and not really actual talking? He does, i do not. He is driving me unsane. And i think he blooming well loves it. Grrrr!!! Is all i have to say on that!

Thats some kinda sign!

Geez, u would think after everything thats been said over the last year or 2 he`d have half a clue. BUt no. Still its all about him every single time. Am i a b*tch for wanting his time. Instead of having to wait while he plays computer games for a week at a time. I mean what is it with world of warcraft anyway? Does it have some sort of mind control over losers??Look i know i go on and on about the same things all the time. But am i not allowed to want to see my boyfriend? And then when i say something to him about it, i get the guilt trip. Its like he knows he is wrong so has to twsit things to make me feel bad about saying anything. And why should i feel bad for wanting his time? God i dont know why i bother any more i really dont.

boredom

i think i have THAASOPHOBIA, a fear of boredom phobia.

why does`nt he care?

Im not sure why he does`nt like me. I mean its not like im not the one who spends 8 hours a night talking to him am i. Why would you spend 9 months of your life.. just about every night talking to someone if you did`nt actually like them? Or talk about personal things like we do. He confuses me because one day he will tell me that he likes me, and the next day its like im this annoying thing stuck to the bottom of his shoes. And no matter how hard he kicks his foot out, i the bugger just wont let go. And i should. I really should. I have now come to the conclusion, that there is only one thing i can do. And that is to tell him how i feel. And hope he feels the same way. And if he does`nt, then i, no matter how hard have to walk away. I have mega deep feelings for this person, and i just can`t let them bottle up inside any more. I need them to come out, before they brust out and explode. I am scared that he will do the dispearing act on me again like he did about 2 months ago.. when he dropped out of my life for 3 long and hard 3 weeks. I mean how many hints can i give him any ways? He know`s everything there is to know about me. My secrets, my fears, my likes, he knows me inside out. And i him. Is it just that i am not attactive enough for him. That i am not katie holmes. Why does it have to be so damn hard all the time. Why can`t people just be honest with each other. I have to tell him how i feel now, dont i?

paranoid

Sometimes i think im paranoid..... I think im cracking up or am i just paranoid.. oh darn it i have green day in my head now! But my being paranoid may have to do with many facts. The first being im sure i have stalker. And this time not spencer, for a chance. Im damn sure i know who it is.. (he shall be known as "duckie". Erm, why duckie? Becuase he reminds me of duckie from the film pretty in pink. If you have..nt seen this film, bloody go and watch it now! Why are you still here? I told you to go watch that film did..nt i. Ok now we got rid of the rif raf, we can continue. Duckie, who keeps sending me text messages and photos of himself and also of his turtles (??) and beer, yes i have no idea why either? He thinks that im his bestest bestest friend too... i hardly know him at all! You really should..nt be too nice towards people with who happen to be with friends of yours while in a pub. But he is not only my resaon for thinking im paranoid.. its ok we on to garbage songs now.. No my other reason for being paranoid is because i think my boyfriend is using me. Mostly for sex and money. But why, why, why?? He, i think because he was a virgin before we met was scared to have sex. And now we have keeps me around so he can "get better". Oh, haha, you must try harder then dharlin! And as for the money, well it seems he can only come see me when i have the money to pay his bus fair home. I know how very sad. And whats more he also thinks that i am going to pay for everything. Like when we go fora drink. Or the cinema. Oh yes tonight he thinks we are going to go see anugs thongs and perfect snogging (which by the way he really wants to see) and guess who he thinks is going to pay... yes he thinks me. But oh no im not!!!!!). Surely like my good buddie dippy says is that if he cared about me at all, he would save what money he did have to come see me and or/ take me out once in a while. You would like to think you ment something to someone, you know even enough for them to spend a whole £20 to come see you, take you to see a film and by you a drink... right?? Or maybe i hope for too much? But lets see.. i pay £10 to get me to meet him half way, that ticket also pays for us both to get back to mine. And then i pay for the food and drinks the whole time he is here which can be £30 0r more the 4 or 5 days i get to see him every 2 weeks. I know... thats how much he wants to see me! And then i will have to give him money to get home cos he claims to never have any. Hold on.... what the fuck am i even doing seeing this guy...??? I should so dump his arse right now!