paranoid

Sometimes i think im paranoid..... I think im cracking up or am i just paranoid.. oh darn it i have green day in my head now! But my being paranoid may have to do with many facts. The first being im sure i have stalker. And this time not spencer, for a chance. Im damn sure i know who it is.. (he shall be known as "duckie". Erm, why duckie? Becuase he reminds me of duckie from the film pretty in pink. If you have..nt seen this film, bloody go and watch it now! Why are you still here? I told you to go watch that film did..nt i. Ok now we got rid of the rif raf, we can continue. Duckie, who keeps sending me text messages and photos of himself and also of his turtles (??) and beer, yes i have no idea why either? He thinks that im his bestest bestest friend too... i hardly know him at all! You really should..nt be too nice towards people with who happen to be with friends of yours while in a pub. But he is not only my resaon for thinking im paranoid.. its ok we on to garbage songs now.. No my other reason for being paranoid is because i think my boyfriend is using me. Mostly for sex and money. But why, why, why?? He, i think because he was a virgin before we met was scared to have sex. And now we have keeps me around so he can "get better". Oh, haha, you must try harder then dharlin! And as for the money, well it seems he can only come see me when i have the money to pay his bus fair home. I know how very sad. And whats more he also thinks that i am going to pay for everything. Like when we go fora drink. Or the cinema. Oh yes tonight he thinks we are going to go see anugs thongs and perfect snogging (which by the way he really wants to see) and guess who he thinks is going to pay... yes he thinks me. But oh no im not!!!!!). Surely like my good buddie dippy says is that if he cared about me at all, he would save what money he did have to come see me and or/ take me out once in a while. You would like to think you ment something to someone, you know even enough for them to spend a whole £20 to come see you, take you to see a film and by you a drink... right?? Or maybe i hope for too much? But lets see.. i pay £10 to get me to meet him half way, that ticket also pays for us both to get back to mine. And then i pay for the food and drinks the whole time he is here which can be £30 0r more the 4 or 5 days i get to see him every 2 weeks. I know... thats how much he wants to see me! And then i will have to give him money to get home cos he claims to never have any. Hold on.... what the fuck am i even doing seeing this guy...??? I should so dump his arse right now!