why does`nt he care?

Im not sure why he does`nt like me. I mean its not like im not the one who spends 8 hours a night talking to him am i. Why would you spend 9 months of your life.. just about every night talking to someone if you did`nt actually like them? Or talk about personal things like we do. He confuses me because one day he will tell me that he likes me, and the next day its like im this annoying thing stuck to the bottom of his shoes. And no matter how hard he kicks his foot out, i the bugger just wont let go. And i should. I really should. I have now come to the conclusion, that there is only one thing i can do. And that is to tell him how i feel. And hope he feels the same way. And if he does`nt, then i, no matter how hard have to walk away. I have mega deep feelings for this person, and i just can`t let them bottle up inside any more. I need them to come out, before they brust out and explode. I am scared that he will do the dispearing act on me again like he did about 2 months ago.. when he dropped out of my life for 3 long and hard 3 weeks. I mean how many hints can i give him any ways? He know`s everything there is to know about me. My secrets, my fears, my likes, he knows me inside out. And i him. Is it just that i am not attactive enough for him. That i am not katie holmes. Why does it have to be so damn hard all the time. Why can`t people just be honest with each other. I have to tell him how i feel now, dont i?